The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
