Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
