I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
