There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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