D3 body, D1 cock
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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