My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
