someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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