Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
