theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
