Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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