i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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