Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
