we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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