hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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