Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
