i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
