What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
