so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
