So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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