Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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