Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize