Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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