oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
