we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
