I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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