1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
