I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
