then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
