I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
