I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
