I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
