I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
false alarm. still invincible.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
