god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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