I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize