its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
No he doesnât answer my texts except for like on New Yearâs Because like I was fucked up on New Yearâs and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you canât really recover from that
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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