even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
