We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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