Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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