so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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