her vagine was all disorganized.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
