dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Of course I have a pirate flag
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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