I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
