Christians are straight up FREAKS
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
