Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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