My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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