the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
