Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
