I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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