I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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