is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize