i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
