Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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