butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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