we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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