I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Ladies don't puke and tell
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think my moral compass just broke
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